


the one left without a choice

by etherealities



Series: a universe of love [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mark is a good friend, but they're not official don't get excited lol, cause he's been through shit too, cawllection, implied markno, next chap will be longer i promise, this is really short but i don't rlly know what else to write i apologize, uhh, uhhh, ya kno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-20 15:30:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19994515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealities/pseuds/etherealities
Summary: they were happy, but jeno didn't really have a choice.





	the one left without a choice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bazzys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazzys/gifts).



> who was it that left jaemin behind? here's the story!!

he tasted like bitter coffee and sweet vanilla.

jeno remembered that.

he looked messy in the mornings. his voice was small and sweet, like a tablespoon of honey. his eyes glittered from the sunlight coming through the open window above the bed. they had been lucky enough to get a corner dorm. jaemin liked to plant small kisses on jeno's nose before getting up, and the first thing he did was always to take a shower.

jeno would prepare breakfast and he'd hear the water stop running, and he'd smell jaemin's orange shampoo as he wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing the back of his neck as he asked what was for breakfast. jeno would turn and manage to just catch jaemin's lips, soft and a little swollen, already tasting like his vanilla chapstick. by the time they got home from classes that evening, he’d taste more like the coffee he’d get from the coffee shop renjun worked at.

jeno remembered that, too.

sitting alone now, jeno remembered more about jaemin than he thought he’d remember. it made his heart ache, not the soft pounding he’d felt when he’d learned that renjun was in france, but a thundering pulse that rushed through him, that made him pull his knees up to his chest as he watched the sunset through his bedroom window, sitting on his bed.

he knew the way he left jaemin would have hurt him. with how much it had hurt jeno, he hoped that jaemin had eventually been okay.

jeno wasn’t. not as well as he could be, anyway.

he shrunk into himself, his blood rushing through his ears. he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him, and as a hand softly rested on his shoulder, he flinched away, almost tumbling off of the edge of his bed. mark’s eyes widened as he reached out, steadying the younger boy as he sat beside him.

 _it’s okay. it’s just me, i came to see why you weren’t at dinner._ mark’s voice calmed the roar in his ears and jeno relaxed slowly, releasing his limbs and leaning into mark’s touch as he wrapped an arm around him.

 _were you thinking about jaemin again?_ mark asked. it wasn’t really a question - mark knew he had been. it was a courtesy. _jeno…_

_i know, hyung, i know. it just - i miss him. i want to apologize._

mark sighed, and jeno let his head rest against mark’s shoulder, feeling the way it rose and fell with each breath he took. he synced his own breathing to mark’s slower, calmer breaths.

 _i know you do. renjun is here, you know - you could send him something. even go see him._ jeno sat up at that, mild panic in his eyes. 

_and say what?_ mark shrugged. 

_ask him how he and jaemin are doing. he’s not mad at you - and he knows you’re here, by the way. he asked about how you are. you explained to him, after all._ mark took one of jeno’s hands, laying it so jeno could feel mark’s steady pulse, reminding him to breathe. _you should talk to him._

jeno talked to renjun.

it wasn’t awkward - jeno remembered that renjun had this aura. this way of calming everyone down around him, when he needed to. the two of them sat on renjun’s bed, all the polaroids renjun had brought to france spread out between them.

 _you’re really not mad at me?_ jeno asked, picking up a polariod of jaemin and jisung. he remembered jisung, too. he was an amazing dancer.

 _how could i be angry at you?_ renjun asked, not unkindly. _you had your reasons. i may not agree with how you did everything, but…_ he shrugged. _i just did similar._ he offered jeno a crooked smile, which jeno returned shyly. renjun still had his snaggle tooth, the one jaemin always thought was adorable. 

_and… jaemin? _he asked hesitantly.__

____

____

renjun shook his head, pausing. _he’s not angry with you. he still misses you, but...he realized eventually that it was probably for the better. he’s happy. i still think he was happier with you, but…_ the sentence hung in the air, unfinished.

 _are you ever going to tell him how you feel?_ jeno inquired. renjun stopped, hesitated, then told jeno the story, his letter, the confession.

the ache in jeno’s chest returned, even as he smiled and told renjun that he was sure jaemin still liked renjun. the ache didn’t fade, even as jeno said goodbye, even as he tucked renjun’s number into his pocket and typed it into his phone. he knew better than to text renjun until he left france - he wouldn’t check his phone before that, anyway. renjun thought it better to completely disconnect for a while.

so, jaemin understood.

but did jeno really understand?

jeno had dropped everything to leave - but not without warning. in the space of a few months, he disconnected from everyone. he changed his number, unenrolled from school, and in one swift move, broke up with jaemin. 

he missed his orange-vanilla scent.

he left, moved to france, stayed with his family until his mother could be strong enough. he was angry, of course - at his father for leaving her so suddenly, at himself for not being more careful, at jaemin for loving him so well, at his mother for not being strong. but he pushed those away, he took care of her, he went to school.

he'd hoped renjun had gotten his note, explaining everything that had happened. he'd hoped renjun knew well enough to not show jaemin the second note, the one that told renjun about all the glances he’s seen jaemin throw towards him, about the way jeno had noticed renjun’s familiarity with jaemin.

that’s one thing jeno wasn’t angry about. he genuinely, sincerely hoped the two of them would be happy. because he knew that as well as he had loved jaemin, renjun would love him better. and as well as jaemin loved jeno, he would love renjun better. 

jeno knew he’d always love jaemin. but he’d love someone else eventually, someone who would accept his broken heart, his laugh that always seemed a little sad.

and maybe they’d mend his heart back together.

he still had faith in love.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this one is so short rip i didn't know what else to write
> 
> this one is dedicated to vilde for being my hypegirl and the best mother! thanks for you support ma, i would've given up on this series after the first part if not for your support (and of course all the kind comments ive gotten!)
> 
> i think...next is either a separate storyline because this is getting a bit crazy for me? or it'll be mark and his experiences.
> 
> let me know what you're curious about and what you think!! i love feedback and reading comments makes my day so much happier! i give an effort to reply to each and every one of you and i love hearing your thoughts! 
> 
> school is starting up soon so I'll write a bit slower, but it's also my escape from school so the chapters may be longer as i write things in between classes lmao.
> 
> love you guys!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/gothdejun)


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